I hung out with Willis, Wim, Whitney, Shafer, Amber, and the rest last night. I have to say I had a wonderful time. We hardly watched the football game this time, but that was because we were distracted by the spectacle of Willis and Wim devouring bbq wings in a grotesque fashion. David never made it, he was transferring Cosmo Monkhouse tapes to CD with Relaps ALL DAY (11 hours, I believe). Willis and I always have a great discussion about life, as we did again, and I appreciate his perspective a lot.

I again am avoiding the studio, I've decided to hibernate like a bear.

Can't say pregnancy hasn't changed my life drastically already. I was glad to participate in the concert that Al-haaq called church (which it was) and be with people after the rough afternoon of realization.

What I realized was that I may never be a commercial photographer. Sure, it's easy to say that I could if I put my mind to it, and I could, if motherhood wasn't pushing for first in line. The thing is, for about five seconds I was mad that I have to give up my career goals, but honestly, I haven't been that passionate for it lately. So maybe this miracle that God has given us is partly a reason to take a good hard look at my purpose in life. I just can't see this being a bad thing, even though the tiny femmenazi in my heart wants to believe differently.

My photo professor once said "Do you want to be a photographer or do you want a family?" Which doesn't seem fair but that industry is very well geared towards men who are married to their work and have no other time in their life for anyone or anything else. I've watched male photographer's marriages and relationships crumble under the demand the photo world has on them. I don't want child care to raise my kid, my parents are too young, thus not retired yet, and can't watch my kid, and besides I want to do it. It's not anyone elses job but mine and David's.

So where does that leave me? In the immortal words of Tom Petty: The future is wide open.

yeah, it's official. A little Hopkins is on the way. Due date is MAY 25. Thanks to all of you who have offered support. We are really excited and trying to decide what to name the little bugger.